humble out girl

1 Samuel 15:24-25, 15:30 “..I was afraid of the people and so I gave in to them.  Now I beg you, forgive my sin and come back with me, so that I may worship the Lord.”  “Saul replied, “I have sinned.  But please honor me before the elders of my people and before Israel; come back with me, so that I may worship the Lord your God.”

Last night I was so mad at my husband.  I had done something and I wanted my husband to give me full recognition and to do it publicly.  I was so full of pride of myself that I wanted him to talk about it with everyone.  He didn’t and  in my arrogance I couldn’t see my sin.  Until this morning while reading God spoke to me and I understood.

Saul was afraid of the people.  Afraid they were going to think less of him then what he wanted them to think.  Saul was in sin but he didn’t see it either.

Samuel wasn’t buying into it either and Saul was getting frustrated.  As Saul progressed into his sin he went from “so I that I may worship the Lord” to “so that I may worship the Lord your God”.

Saul’s heart went from obedience to God to serving himself.  When I started serving myself rather than serving and being obedient to God then I too want to be honored before the people.  I want my husband to praise me and my works.

Jesus tells me (Matthew 6:5) that when my heart wants to be seen by men then I have received my reward in full.

I regret my actions.  God’s reward would of been so much more satisfying than what I received.  Sin only leaves regret and I sinned but I also have hope, hope that God’s kindness will lead me to repentance (Romans 2:4) and reconciliation (Romans 5).




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