bitterness of soul

1 Samuel 1:10 ” In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the Lord”

I have seen this phrase so many times throughout Scripture (Job 3:20, 7:11, 10:1, Isaiah 38:15).

I look back on my own life and the times when I’ve had that bitterness of my soul too. We all have. When we have had longings and desires that we thought would never come true.

I remember as a young girl, wanting so much to have a relationship with my mother. At such a young age I didn’t realize that her addictions kept her from being able to meet my needs.

I didn’t have a relationship with God as a young girl so when I cried out I didn’t know who I was crying out to, I didn’t know who I was going to find comfort from. God was still there, God was still listening.

As a woman, age of 36, was another time that I cried out. Just like Hannah I had the bitterness of my soul of wanting a child. Scared that I was too old. I remember that deep longing as I cried out to God asking him to please grant this one wish. And this time I did know God. This time I knew that God was there and that He was listening. I knew who I was crying to.

After looking back at my life I know, the good and the bad, the times of joy and the times of anguish, it was all for my good.

Isaiah 38:17-19 so that “The living, the living -they praise you, as I am doing today”.

Today I am able to look back and see that all has been for the good. And just as Hannah was faithful to God, I too am going to be faithful.

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