I am a sinner

Psalm 51:3-4 For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge.

I am a sinner. My sin is always before me. Anger, impatience, pride.  My heart aches. I know I sin against my God. Some of my sin is not immediately apparent but some of my sin I am very well aware of.  It grieves me. I am on my knees praying that my sins do not hinder my children, hurt my husband or my friends. I am also very grateful for repentance and forgiveness. I hold onto the scriptures of Isaiah 1:18, Proverbs 28:12, 1 John 1:9, Titus 2:14. Reading these scriptures remind me that every sin I take and confess before God He is quick to forgive and when I would rather beat myself up and cry tears upon tears over my sins then I remember Romans 2:4 “Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?”

Father, I am a sinner before You and it is You that I have sinned against. I am so grateful that my sin is always before me, a reminder of my need for Your kindness, Your patience. You do not treat me as my sins deserve. Thank you Jesus for Your love and Your sacrifice that allows me to know that I have a Father who loves me and stretches His hand out to me to save me. I am blessed. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Advertisements

Circumcision involves the Heart

I had to read Joshua 5:7-8 several times this morning.  “Now all the people that came out were circumcised: but all the people that were born in the wilderness by the way as they came forth out of Egypt, them they had not circumcised.  For the children of Israel walked forty years in the wilderness, till all the people that were men of war, which came out of Egypt, were consumed, because they obeyed not the voice of the Lord: unto whom the Lord sware that he would not shew them the land, which the Lord sware unto their fathers that he would give us, a land that floweth with milk and honey.And their children, whom he raised up in their stead, them Joshua circumcised: for they were uncircumcised, because they had not circumcised them by the way. And it came to pass, when they had done circumcising all the people, that they abode in their places in the camp, till they were whole.”

This scripture has really stood out to me because of the decision, commitment, this generation made. What a sacrifice they each had to make for themselves.  Their parents had not been obedient and now as they were older they had to make the decision to be obedient for themselves.
This one decision would leave them and the whole camp vulnerable. They had heard the story of how a whole city was destroyed because of their decision. I’m sure that was on their minds as they each came to be circumcised. But the city in Genesis 34 made this decision out of greed but the hearts of the men in Joshua chapter 5 made this decision out of obedience. Obedience to their God.
What is in my heart that holds me back from being completely obedient to my God?  Anger, greed, pride. It is good for me to reflect upon my own relationship with God and circumcise that which is not obedient to God.

Deuteronomy 33:12

Deuteronomy 33:12
“Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in Him, for He shields him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between His shoulders.”

Beloved, greatly loved, dear to the heart.  God calling us beloved!  This scripture took my breath away!

Oh Father, may I be your beloved. May I rest securely in You so that I may be shielded by you all day long. I want to rest, leaning against you, letting you face all my troubles, all my fears. Letting you, my Lord, face the storms Satan is putting in front of me. Satan is my enemy, wanting me to stumble, but I get to rest against you in the midst of everything. Thank you. I love you God. Amen.

Today

Psalm 33:21 In Him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in His holy name.

Jeremiah 17:7 But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him.

Today my sons are acting up and being too silly, not listening. Today one of my sons chose to raise his voice at me, often. He’s only 8. Today I have a migraine, 2 days now. Today a friend is battling cancer.  Today I’m feeling distant from my husband. Today finances are tight. I have too many choices to make today.

Who will I put my trust in? God says if I trust in Him my heart can rejoice. God says if I trust in Him I will be blessed. I will know I am trusting in Him, if I have confidence in Him, if my heart is rejoicing. Right now it’s not but I want to. I really want to.  Today.  All I have is today.

Father, I want my heart to rejoice and I want to put my trust in you. In your name, your Holy Name, I know that I can find joy. Father I want the joy that King David found in you when he danced before you, before your ark. I want the trust that comes with knowing someone intimately. Thank you for prayer Lord. Even this small prayer, just coming before you I can feel my peace returning. May your face shine on us. All of us who are putting our trust in you Lord. In Jesus name, Amen.

Freedom and Confidence

As I continue to meditate on Ephesians 3:12 I am thinking of how I approaching God with freedom and confidence.

The memories of my past could keep me from approaching God with confidence much less approaching God at all. And is that where Satan would like to keep me, in my past. To keep me in shame and regret. Satan would like nothing more than to hold me captive in who I used to be, keep me captive in the mistakes I’ve made even today. But because of my belief in Christ, my faith in what He has done for me I can approach God with freedom and confidence.

How might this affect my prayers I wonder.  Praying in the freedom and confidence God as I let go of my past mistakes.

Confidence

Ephesians 3:12 In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.
This is what I hold onto. That through my faith I am able to approach God with freedom and confidence. I notice that no where in this scripture does any of this involve my past. None of this involves my hurts, my scars, who and I and who I am not. Only because of my faith in Christ. That and that alone allows me to approach my Heavenly Father where I receive my freedom and I receive my confidence.